Obama Signs Executive Order for Sam Raimi
President Barack Obama signed another executive order on Thursday that directly affects the production of the next Spider-Man sequel, citing a “fundamental issue” with the Internet rumors surrounding the film’s supervillain.
In a recent interview, director Sam Raimi revealed that he’s a fan of Morbius, a vampire baddie from the comics, sparking speculations that the fourth film would use him as the main villain. Obama, a longtime Spider-Man fan, hated the idea.
“Let’s be honest, Morbius is kind of a lame choice,” said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs during a press briefing Thursday morning. “The President is doing everything in his power to make sure we don’t have another lame Spider-Man movie.”
It’s no secret that the President was very unhappy with the way Spider-Man 3 turned out in 2007, making it one of his campaign promises to fix the situation.
“We all saw what happened in the past couple of years if we sit idly by,” Obama said last April. “We all saw Sony take the easy road with the third film. We all saw how the intemperance of Hollywood producers to chase a fleeting glory in that one opening weekend left the rest of us in a storming dust of shame. I remember Derek McHayden, from Wichita, Kansas, telling me how disappointed he was with the treatment of Venom. I agreed with him. Topher Grace? I ask you now, can we not do better? I remember Susan Halisburg, from Corvallis, Oregon, asking me why they flubbed Gwen Stacy so badly, and I remember how moved I was by her concern. I have a question myself: who do we hold responsible for Harry Osborn’s flying snowboard?”
“No more. No more will we treat our heroes with indignity and emoness. We need change, and that change starts with Spider-Man 4,” the President added, to scattered and puzzled applause.
Under the new order, Sony Pictures and Sam Raimi will have to obtain government approval in the choosing of the next film’s villain. The President has reportedly given his Chief-of-Staff Rahm Emanuel a list of possible supervillains that he likes. Emanuel’s favorite, one White House source says, is an original villain Obama had created during his time in the Senate, called simply The Elephant—a supervillain so wealthy he forgets he has seven secret lairs.
The order also clearly states that under no circumstances would further movies be allowed to introduce retcons. That would prevent another twist such as the revelation of Sandman as Uncle Ben’s killer, which was said to have left Obama “fuming” after he saw the film.
Sam Raimi is unavailable for comment, but a Sony rep says they are working hard to make sure they put out a new Spider-Man movie the President can be proud of.
